I Need Community Or I'll Die

In the first week Robert probably saved my life. It was a preventative measure, and it was high school, but his impact on my life was enormous. He may not even know. It's amazing how we can change one another's lives so nonchalantly.

It went like this: I'd graduated 8^th grade from St. Paul Lutheran as part of a class of 32 students, which was a record at the time. Most of my classmates went on to small Christian high schools. I went to a public school where I joined an incoming class of over 500. I knew about seven people, and I rarely saw any of them. Being alone was bearable for the six hours out of the day when there was class but lunchtime bad. Lunchtime was terrifying.

Photo by: The U.S. Army

The cafeteria was packed, but somehow it was never crowded enough for me to inconspicuously sit anywhere. The tables were round, so sitting meant approaching a group. I was afraid to sit with a group who might reject me, so I sat alone at an empty table and my table stayed empty all through lunch. It felt pathetic to be so alone in such a crowded room. The same thing happened on the second day. And the third day. I felt so lonely I wanted to cry.

On the last day in that cafeteria I sat down feeling insignificant, awkward and alone. Then Robert walked up to me and changed me life. I'd seen Robert at St. Paul and at church but we hadn't talked much.

“Come on” Said Robert, “We don't eat here.”

I didn't know exactly what he meant but he was talking to me and that felt nice. He said “we” too, which felt even better. I followed Robert and he lead me to a little nook in the science hall where he and the kids from the Christian Club ate. Maybe it's dorky that we had a club, but I really needed those people. I ate with them every day for the next four years. They were there for me when I needed a place to belong. They were my family when I was alone.

Being alone is the worst. We weren't created for it (Genesis 2:18), and God wants better for us. We're meant for families, both real families and adoptive families. I don't meant to say we ought to never take a moment alone. I'm an introvert and I need time alone, but even as an introvert I know I cannot survive without a loving community.

I believe there is no comfort like that of truly belonging. Sadly we often live without the supportive communities we were created to thrive in. We hang back from meeting new people because we imagine we aren't interesting or cool enough. We avoid friendships we think will carry too much work. We don't share our struggles because we tell ourselves we aren't important. We even hold back encouragement and compliments so we don't appear too attached. We keep one another alone when we were created to be in awesome communities. Brothers and Sisters, this is all very dumb and we need to cut it out.

I know that it is hard to offer or to ask for help. It requires vulnerability. We get hurt when we're vulnerable, but it's so totally worth it. Jesus made himself vulnerable so that we could have a relationship with him. He got hurt, but still thought we were valuable enough to do it anyway. Jesus loves us, thinks we're terrific, created us exquisitely, and is excited to walk through life with us. With our confidence grounded in him, we needn't fear rejection. When we reach out, the worst thing that can happen is that someone may decline our awesome friendship. That's sad to be sure, but the way I see it it's their loss.

Root yourself in Jesus and take confidence in knowing he's crazy about you. Then reach out and love somebody. You just may save their life.

RE: Brave and Matthew 18:15-35

Brave exceeded my expectations. I've seen warrior princesses, and I've seen fiery redheads defy their parents wishes, but I honestly believe Brave depicted something new, and even something counter cultural. Brave told a story of forgiveness and reconciliation. It championed community over individuality.

I'm not going to ruin it for you, but I want to say that the ideals of the film were utterly other than those ordinarily pushed in such movies. We're used to stories of independence, where strong willed heroes dodge the consequences of their actions and claim glory for themselves and their ragtag group of friends. Brave is not that story. Brave is better.

I think that the film will struggle with popularity, not because it features strong female characters, but because its message is decidedly not self-centred. There are parallels between Ariel and Merida, and between Mulan and Merida, but Brave's princess is entirely more realistic. She is whiny and rude, and her adolescent defiance hurts her family. Disney traditionally has challenged us to strike out on our own in spite of what anyone tells us. Brave challenges families to listen to one another, to forgive one another, and to believe in one another. This challenge is as much harder as it is better.

I advise you to go see it. Brave is funny and smart, and it was beautiful to see on the big screen. I'm certain I'd only enjoy it more if I had children, but you don't need kids to appreciate it. I saw it with my wife and two single friends, and it sparked great discussions, especially about our mothers.

Challenge:

If you do take your kids to see it, consider reading Matthew 18:15-35 before or after. Talk with them about forgiveness. Remind them how much you love them and will forgive them no matter what, and how Jesus loves them with even greater all-forgiving love.

Dunnottar Castle photo by: macieklew

God speed and happy watching.


P.S.   JW Wartick of Always Have A Reason has written this lovely, and more academic reflection on the film:  Pixar's "Brave" A Christian Perspective

Jesus' Mother & Brothers

Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” -Mark 3:31-35

Your parents have probably told you that, “family comes first” at some point. I'd be very surprised if they never have. Families care for one another, influence one another, and shape children into adults. It was, and still is, and incredibly counter cultural idea that God's family is closer than blood ties. To Jesus your position in society doesn't matter. A role of authority doesn't get you anywhere with Jesus. Jesus is interested in your heart.

Challenge: Imagine a church where everyone treated one another as true brothers and sisters. Write about it if that helps you think. Now pray for it. Ask God to use you to strengthen and expand his family.

Are You A Man Or A Muppet?

I freaking love the Muppets.  Seriously, Walter, from the new movie, reminded me instantly of myself.  I love Gonzo, Mr. Teeth, Kermit, Piggy, even Samuel Eagle and Fozzy Bear.  I love that they’re all uniquely weird characters.  They are each annoying, talented, loving, petty, funny, bold, and insecure.  They’re everyone.  The Muppets have characters of every type.  There is no one who could truly be out of place among these weirdos.  They don’t seem like they should work together, but they’re incredible.

The Muppets make me feel homesick, which should probably frighten me more than it does.  I understand that they’re puppets, but the idea of such diverse and zany characters all coming together for one common purpose makes my heart ache for my true home.  I don’t mean Muppet Studios, I talking about the kingdom of God.

Christians are weird.  Christians are annoying, talented, loving, petty, bold, and insecure.  We are Muppets.  Often we don’t work together or love one another like we should.  The sad reality is that we live in a harsher world than the Muppets do, and I’m thankful that we get more than a thirty minute interval to pull our act together.

One last thing I’ll say I love about the Muppets is that every freaky one of them comes as they are, with all their passions, flaws, and fears out on their sleeves.  When they each do what they love doing they put on a tolerable show.  I want to see that in the church.  So this leads me to ask:  Which Muppet are you?  What is your greatest passion?  What is your biggest flaw?  These things can’t define you; only Christ can, but God made you this way in all of your weird and beautiful glory.  He did it on purpose, and I for one would be thrilled to see an absurd family of Christians loving and laughing and possessing a zest for life comparable to that of Gonzo the Great.

Jesus Turns Water Into Wine

Read John 2:1-11

When we talk about Jesus we often talk about him in heady theological terms, we use words like begotten, co-eternal and incarnate. Those words have a place, but I invite you to take note of the Jesus' in our reading today. Today Jesus is at a wedding party, and he's having a good time with family and friends, and then his mother starts bothering him about wine. If you've ever been at a party with friends and had to go run errands because your mom had called you will understand. That is what happened to Jesus at this wedding. I think it's hilarious.

Jesus got bossed around by his mom at a party. It doesn't matter how perfect you are, in that situation it is reasonable and sinless to feel some irritation with mom. Truly our savior has known every kind of suffering.

Challenge: Wait for your parents to bother you today. Remember that Jesus has been where you are now, he knows what it is to feel frustrated and powerless. He is with you and feels your pain. In the midst of your worst days, he loves you as much as ever. He has been where you are. Pause to remember that.

Childish - 3rd Monday In Lent

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” Matthew 18:1-5

Kids can be irritating. They can be noisy. They can be messy. If you've ever been in a restaurant with a rambunctious kid at the next table, you know exactly what I mean. If you have a younger sibling, you know even better.
Not only are they a firestorm of chaos and toys, they ask questions ALL THE TIME. Questions like “why?” five or six times in a row. Oddly enough, they'll trust the answers you give them. They just want to know more. Always.
Being grown men, it's likely Jesus' disciples knew a thing or two about kids. Chances are, they'd been kids before if nothing else. Knowing that they were likely to send kids away when the adults were talking (see Matt 19:13-14), Jesus' decision to bring in a little kid in as an example of what to do is really shocking.
But can you imagine what I would be like if we did accept God's Kingdom like little children? When He tells us He loves us we'd believe Him. We'd ask Him every question that popped into our heads fearlessly, and we'd take His answers at their word. We'd accept His gifts as gratefully and excitedly as a kid getting a birthday present from their mom or dad. We'd never pretend to know more than our Dad. May God give you the Spirit to do this today, and every day.

Challenge:
Find a way to become like a little child, and put it into practice.

An Open Letter To Parents Who Deal With Rebellious Minds

Dear parent,

I understand that you're having problems with your teenager. He or she isn't Christian or isn't what you raised them to be. You find their beliefs, or lack thereof, disappointing and disrespectful. Their new outlook threatens what you hold sacred. How do you react? You can show them who's boss; you can fire back against their rebellion with restrictions and criticisms. Please don't; I don't think that will help.

Parent, I need you to calm down before you hurt yourself and hurt your kid. Remember, your relationship with your child is much more important than any disappointment you feel. Your adolescent is becoming an adult. You cannot discipline someone into having faith. A stronger approach is needed. Adolescents aren't children anymore, you're going to have to show them how adults act. Treat them like an intelligent adult you are trying to win for Christ, not like a misbehaving child. Their ideas hurt you, but please remember that your relationship with your child is more important than how they are making you feel at the moment. Treat them with love and maturity. Continue to express your faith while respecting theirs, and you'll win their respect. If you insult their beliefs, demean them, or punish them for their unbelief you will lose both their trust and respect. If they don't trust you, they are not going ask you for help when their schema fails them. Your teenager, is only a teenager. God willing, you still have decades left in which to love them into God's kingdom. If you focus on winning arguments instead of winning souls you will lose both. Romans 2:4 asks “. . . do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” May God's kindness work in and through you to lead your beloved closer to God.

Your brother,

David