For All My Friends With "Real Jobs"

Many of my friends wait tables.  One evening one such friend was serving a family that had an adorable little girl who, in the course of the meal, became fascinated and delighted with having a server. As my friend bid the family goodnight the girl told her parents, 

“I wanna be a waitress when I grow up” 

“Oh no, baby” her mom said, “You'll go to college and get a real job.”

It was a cold and tactless thing to say in front of a server with a four year degree.

Construction Worker by: wools

I currently have three part time jobs, one uses my BA.  These jobs probably wouldn’t fit that mother’s definition of “Real Jobs” But they're perfectly real.  They really take up time, really wear on my body, and I've really put up with some really rude people.  Yet as offensive as that mother was being, I’ve honestly caught myself using the same expression. 

When my friends and I use the expression “real job” we're usually daydreaming.  We’re talking about holding jobs that would only work us 40 hours each week, provide medical insurance, let us go to church on Sundays, and maybe pay enough to support a family. When we say “real job” we're fantasizing about finally and decisively breaking into the middle-class.  “Real Jobs” are something we search, pray, and wait for.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting those jobs, but I think we're mistaken to call them “Real.”  I have three real jobs now.  Real life has already started whether or not it's what we anticipated.

I am finishing up my last week in a professional ministry position and beginning a temp job at a mailorder company.  This is perfectly real, although it wasn’t a part of my plan.  Regrettably I’ve been letting the strain of circumstances dictate how joyfully I live my life.  Let me be frank: This is total crap.  Jesus didn't die for us so that temporal circumstances would get to tell us how happy we're allowed to be (Philippians 4:11-13).  Sure I’d like life to be better than it is.  Everyone wants that.

Literally every person in the world would like it if their life were better than it currently is.  This is important to remember because it shows that possessions, income, and status won’t automatically make us happy if we get them.  If they did then the rich people would all be happy.  They’re not.  With that knowledge in mind, we might as well find a way to enjoy life now.  If life improves, fine.  If it doesn’t we’ll at least have learned the right skills to deal with it.

Our joy in life is hugely affected by the attitudes we choose to practice.  My piano teaching mother taught me “practice makes perfect,” and though I didn’t quite believe her, practice did make “better.”  We can practice joy or we can practice grumbling, and we'll get better at whatever we practice.  If we wait for life to improve to practice joyfully thanksgiving, we won't have the skills to actually enjoy our success.  

So here’s my resolution:

I’m going to strive to thank God for every moment I get to be alive (1 Thess 5:18).  I’m going to work my heart out packaging delicious things at the mailorder company. I’m going to dance when I hear music.  I’m going to watch sunsets with my wife.  I’m going to smile at strangers and try to see the face of God in them.  I will forgive Ann Arbor drivers.  I will try not to one-up my friends when we vent about our hardships.  I'll brew beer when there is money and still share it when the money is gone.  I will go on walks this fall.  I will practice, and I will get better.

Challenge:

How do you practice joy?

Faker

I was going to have to take this kid to the hospital.  It wasn’t the way he fell that tipped me off so much as it was the way he didn’t get up.  I ran over to where he lay, knocked to the ground by a larger boy who hadn’t seen him; he was face down and hyperventilating.  The unfortunate perpetrator stood by: a young boy who’d honestly hit his victim by accident.  He looked terrified; sometimes it’s hard to be the big kid.  Within a few seconds the sight of a panicked kid and a prostrate kid had won the attention of about a dozen boys and adult volunteers.  The panic on the older boy’s face increased, swelled, and then burst out of his face.

            “He’s Faking!” he told me, “He’s faking” he repeated.  It became a mantra

            “What happened?”  Asked the next kid to arrive

            “Nothing He's faking, I just bumped him.”

            “You just bumped him?”

            “Yeah he’s faking”

            “Oh, what a faker” (no joke, they said, "faker")

By: D. Sharon Pruitt

            In another moment the poor guy was surrounded by boys all eager to tell the next person who arrived that the guy on the ground was a “faker.”  Fortunately the camp nurse arrived soon, and he spoke to the scared boy on the ground instead of to the scared boy towering over him.  But the kid couldn’t answer; he could barely breathe.  Most of the immediate problem was panic.  Once the taunting crowd was dispersed he finally stopped hyperventilating enough to reveal that he’d hit his head and was feeling nauseous.  I ran to get my car and driving partner.  He had a concussion.

            Why is it so easy to blame hurt people for their injuries?  The larger boy was guilty of nothing more than carelessness, but he let his fear make him defensive.  I’ve said it before: Fear is a lousy motivator.  The big kid only did something wrong once he started blaming the crumpled and panicked boy at his feet.  

It’s an easy thing to do: to blame survivors for their wounds.  Hiring managers discriminate against certain races because they perceive those races as lazy, even referencing unemployment among that race to justify their prejudice.  There is a problem with this.  Rape survivors face ridicule when they tell about their attacks; they’re interrogated about where they were and what they wore, as if they need help blaming themselves for the unsolicited violence they experienced.  This is a problem.  The poor and hungry too, often find judgment when they look for mercy. So often struggling families are told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, as though children deserve to live with hunger and fear because of their parents’ addictions or malfunctions.  This blame game is not acceptable.

Scripture says that we should each trust the saying: “Christ died to say sinners of whom I am the worst.” (1 Timothy 1:15)  And we're urged to consider other’s better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  It’s a hard word to accept but the Bible, in no uncertain terms, places every person on equal moral footing before God.  We're all equally undeserving of God's love.  No Christian retains the right to think of him or her self as better than anyone else.

This is not the part where I challenge you to give away all of your money and possessions. Jesus challenged exactly one guy to do that exactly one time (Mark 10:17-27) and the point that Jesus was making was this:  It is impossible for us to be good enough to earn God’s kingdom, but nothing is impossible for God.  God’s love and grace are free gifts that none of us have ever done a thing to earn.  Despite all of the kind and good things you done, God isn't impressed (Isaiah 64:6), your relationship with God is a gift.  You’re on spiritual welfare; we all are.

Challenge:

            Try to live the next 24 hours without judging or blaming others for their troubles.  We’ve received much mercy from God; we can pass it on.  Relying fully on God to work this good thing in us, let’s try treating our neighbors with the undeserved grace we’ve received.  Today, may we act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8).  God Speed.

RE: Psalm 37

I struggle with whether or not to read the news. It is of course best to be as informed as possible so one can make wise decisions, but on the other hand I don't trust the information, almost as a matter of principle. I grew up reading 1984 and Brave New World; I learned psychology, sociology, and statistics in college. As a result I know a lot of compelling reasons to not trust politicians, reporters, first hand accounts, surveys, or even my self. Trusting no one, when I do read the news I'm left with the vague awareness that much in the world is horribly wrong, worse even than I'm being told, and yet I have no idea what to believe when it comes to assigning blame or approaching a solution. If ignorance is bliss, it is also irresponsible, but what can I do to help this world if I cannot know what is true?

I needed this psalm today. I needed to be reminded of what I do know is true: God prevails; love wins. There is incredible evil in the world today; people die of hunger, thirst, and many other preventable causes, and my skin crawls with rage because I don't know what to do about it. I don't know who to punish, and I don't know who to trust to help the poor and afflicted. In this moment of feeling powerless, God speaks through this Psalm:

Photo by Alex Proimos

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret —it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. -Psalm 37:7-9

May you take heart today, whatever your situation is. Hope in the Lord and be renewed because God can and will use you to accomplish his eternal purposes.